I Hate You
by Cassie Jamie
Summary: A new Trailblazer student has a history with the twins that no one knew.
1. I Hate You - Part 1

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc… I don't own the names DKNY, Abercrombie, Hot Topic, etc… I'm not using this for money… Yatsa, yatsa, and yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Aleeza Noellesen and Nickolas Francisco Noellesen.

-*-*-

I Hate You

_Part One_

-*-*-

_A rose by any other name would smell as sweet – Juliet from _Romeo and Juliet_ (William Shakespeare)_

-*-*-

July 24th, 2000

11:46 am

English

Nickolas Francisco Noellesen watched the new girl from across the room.Her name was Kerrie Patricia Donovan.She was sixteen and she was a Trailblazer.Her brown hair was waist-length and in huge curls.Her emerald green eyes were hidden behind a pair of designer sunglasses although she was indoors.Her clothes were something Peter wasn't happy about – All she had were designer clothes like DKNY and Abercrombie and things from Hot Topic.Right now she was wearing a skin-tight white leather t-shirt, with black skin-tight suede pants and a sweater around her waist.She was wearing black high heels and a necklace with a gothic cross on it.

"Nick.Earth to Nick." Juliette Waybourne said, waving her hand in front of Nick's eyes.They were in English, and for the fourth day in a row (since Kerrie joined the class), Nick was staring at Kerrie – and ignoring Xan when she asked him a question.

"What?" He asked, blink for a few seconds.

"If you like her, ask her out." Auggie said, leaning over the table to talk without Roger hearing.

Roger, however, still heard, "Would you guys like to share with everyone what you were discussing?"

Nick looked up, "Nope." He said, nastily.

"Lose the attitude, Nick, or you'll be on kitchen duty." Roger warned.Lately Nick's horrible attitude and cruel nature had landed him on room isolation for two days, Kitchen duty all day Saturday, and at the rate he was going, there would be more in store for him.

Nick forced his sudden rage to subside and spoke again, "No, there is nothing that I would like to share."

"Okay." Roger returned to the blackboard, and Nick and the teens went back to talking – on paper.

-*-*-

12:12 pm

Lunch

Peter was standing in the doorway of the lunchroom, watching Nick stare at Kerrie.Nick could barely get the spoon to his mouth, and he was missing mostly.Most of his lunch (which by the way was chicken soup), was ending up in his lap – he didn't even flinch.

"Nick?" Daisy said, "You hoo…"

Nick looked up, "What?" He asked.

"Are you aware there's a pool of really hot soup on your pants?" Xan whispered to him.

Nick looked down, "Aw, man!" He yelled and ran out of the room.

Meanwhile, the rest of the table was laughing at the top of their lungs.After a few minutes, the laughter evaporated and turned to talk.

"What is with him?" Scott asked, curious why Nick had a sudden obsession with Kerrie.

Xan looked up, "We lived in New York City very, very briefly.For like, two weeks, and during that time, which was when we were eight, he had a crush on this girl named Kerrisa.We called her Kerrie."

Peter was sitting nearby, and overheard Xan's comment.He didn't recall seeing that the twins had been in New York City – to his recollection, the file said they never even went into the cities.They'd stayed in the backwoods towns, before meeting the Georgians and moving with them to Niagara.And he definitely remembered that Kerrie wasn't short for Kerrisa – but it could be.He stood up and walked over to the cliffhangers' table.He sat down beside Xan, and looked at her.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" He asked.

Xan was taken aback, and then spoke, "Sure."

Peter stood up and Xan followed him out the door, across the campus, and into his office.Peter sat down in his chair, and Xan sat down on the couch.

"If I show you a picture, could you tell me who it is?" He asked.

"Okay."

Peter stood up and opened the filing cabinet, flipped through the manila envelopes, and took a picture out of one.It was an eight year old with brown hair and green eyes."Do you know this person?" He asked handing her the picture.

"Yeah.That's Kerrisa.How'd you find this?" Xan asked.Peter was slightly curious.

He suddenly was hit with an idea and looked back at Xan, as she shoved the picture back into his hands, "What's Kerrisa's last name?"

"Danning."

Peter jumped up and looked in the cabinet again.He pulled out a file, read through it for a second, and looked at something._'Her name was Kerrisa Patrish Danning, and then her mom remarried to Allen Donovan and she changed her name to Kerrie Patricia Donovan.'_ He thought to himself.Mystery solved.

-*-*-

July 29th, 2000

8:21 am

"I'm going to kill Nick!" Xan yelled, running into the girls' cabin.Sophie was surprised by the teen as Xan ran into the bathroom and slammed the door.The blonde-haired woman jumped up from her spot on Kat's bed where they'd been discussing the wedding.

She ran over to the door and knocked on it, "Xan.Xan, open the door!" She yelled through the wood.

"No!I'm never coming out!Not until Kerrie leaves!" Xan yelled back, the sound in her voice an obvious that she'd been crying.

Sophie looked at Kat, "Try and get her out of there.I'm going to go talk to Peter." With that, she walked out of the cabin.

-*-*-

8:25 am

Peter looked up as Sophie walked into his office.He looked up at her, "What's the matter?"

"Xan just ran into the girls' dorm screaming that she hates Nick, and she's not coming out of the bathroom until Kerrie leaves."

"Why?"

As the conversation continued, neither was aware what Kerrie's presence in Horizon would do to Xan.

-*-*-

9:00 am

"Hey, Nick!" Kerrie yelled across the room.As he walked over, she leaned against the wall and blinked her eyelashes seductively.

"What?" He asked.

"I've been wondering if you'd have dinner with me tonight.I mean my group is full of people who know nothing about the city." She asked, sweetly.

Nick nodded his head happily, "Sure.I'd love to."

Xan was watching the two from her spot in the lodge with a glare on her face.Peter had dragged her out of the bathroom about fifteen minutes before, and she was not happy about having to watch Nick fawn over Kerrie or Kerrie's obvious attempts for Nick to as her out.

"Xan?You okay?" Sophie asked, walking over to her.

"Look at them.It's disgusting." She commented, "She's liked him since we were eight.She wrote him some letters that I found in the mail and never gave him.They were full of I love you's and I want you's and she even said once that if Nick never wrote her back she'd kill herself."

Sophie took in what Xan was saying, and then looked toward Kerrie and Nick.

-*-*-

9:30 am

Xan sat down at the table for a late breakfast, and took a seat across the room from everyone else.Jeff, Roger, and Peter were the only other ones in the room, and were curious why she was eating late.It was Saturday, so she was allowed (She wasn't on duty for anything until ten), but still, she usually never ate late without Sophie, Nick, Shelby, Daisy, or Kat.This time she was completely alone.

Peter got up, "I'll be right back." He said, before walking over to her and sitting now next to her, "Hey."

Xan didn't give a reply.

_'Not again.'_"Xan, are you okay?"

Silence.

"Don't want to talk?"

Finally – Xan nodded her head.She was tired of talking.All that talking had done was bring more pain.Pain of remembering their father, the pain of knowing what went on their old house, the pain of beginning to lose her brother to Kerrie…

Peter put his hand on the top of her head, and then wiped away a tear as she began to cry.He could do nothing for her at the moment, but pull her into his lap and rock her.He did his best to comfort her, but without knowing why she was upset, he could only say things that could fit any situation.

As she began to quiet, he noticed that she'd fallen asleep.And as he studied her face, he noticed the bags under her eyes.Shelby had hinted the day before to something being wrong with Xan, but Peter hadn't been able to talk to her – Sophie wouldn't let him out of his office until the guest list was finalized.

Peter sighed and shifted Xan in his arms so he could carry her back to the dorm.He stood up, walked over to the other table, said good night to the other guys, and walked out the door.As he walked across the campus, the Cliffhangers watched him curiously, but upon looking at the face, they sighed and went back to what they were doing.Shelby watched for a few more seconds before looking back at her work.Peter walked over to the stairs, just as Sophie was coming down them, and he tried to edge past her (Xan was becoming heavy in his arms even though she was only a hundred pounds) but Sophie caught a look at who he was carrying.She followed him up the stairs, to the dorm, and then helped to put her in bed.

After going back onto the porch (So Xan wouldn't wake up), Sophie looked at Peter and spoke, "I was just coming to talk to you about her, Nick, and Kerrie."

Peter waited for her to continue.

"Xan hasn't been sleeping much, her school work has been a little poor then usual, she won't talk, and I found this." She handed him Xan's secret diary – the one with the map out of Horizon.

Peter flipped through the pages, and came upon the one marked July 27th, 2000.

_July 27th, 2000_

I can't believe her!I can't I can't I can't!!!!!She's taking him away from me!He's my brother!Mine!I need him!Not her!Why did she have to come here?!?!?!Why WHY WHY!?!?!?!?It's not fair!It's not!

Both adults grimaced and looked at each other, before walking back into the dorm to check on the teen.The stressed strings were going to kill Xan if they weren't cut – and cut soon.

-*-*-

July 30th, 2000

2:43 pm

"The one thing you hate about yourself is…"

Group was beginning and Xan was not pleasant.Not at all.Of course, Nick was happy and smiling when it came to everything but his sister.He had fought with her the night before and they weren't on speaking terms currently.They didn't even want to be in the same room together.However, saying to Peter or Sophie that they'd had a fight wasn't acceptable to either of them, even though Xan would've gladly told Sophie, but they'd been taught when they were young that fights were a family matter to be kept between them.

Juliette's chipper voice brought Xan back to reality, "I hate this." She held out her arm to show the spot where she'd cut her herself.After a moment, she put her arm back on her lap, and looked at Xan, "Your turn."

Xan, as usual, took a moment and then grabbed her notebook from behind her.She uncapped the pen, and wrote in huge letters EVERYTHING.Tears trailed down her face and she got out of her chair, making a beeline for the door.

Sophie got up and went after her, which normally Peter would've said to give her a few minutes, but this wasn't normally – Xan was, in her mind, losing her brother, causing her to revert back to her original state of mind from when she joined the Cliffhangers.Peter couldn't remember ever dealing with that.He could remember another set of twins, Kathros and Christos DePetrillo, who'd had a problem with the strings.But with the DePetrillo twins, Kate and Chris had been willing to try and when Chris started to like a girl named Corey, Kate pushed for them to go on a date.Xan and Nick were on the other end of the spectrum – Neither was willing to cut their strings, Xan wasn't happy for Nick, and Corey hadn't never met the DePetrillo twins in her life while Kerrie had known them since they were eight.

Peter wasn't sure what to do anymore.

-*-*-

To Be Continued…

-*-*-

Cassie Jamie

[noahXfiles@aol.com][1]

Also, I was bored outta my mind yesterday, and since I was working on my web pages to begin with, I made up a page with quotes and poems that my help Higher Ground writers get inspiration when they're blocked.Anyways, [click here][2] to see it (WARNING: the writing is a bit small.I'll fix it later.)

   [1]: mailto:noahXfiles@aol.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Cassie_Jamie/quotes.html



	2. I Hate You - Part 2

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc… I'm not using this for money… Yatsa, yatsa, and yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Aleeza Noellesen and Nickolas Francisco Noellesen.

-*-*-

I Hate You

# Part One

-*-*-

_A rose by any other name would smell as sweet – Juliet from _Romeo and Juliet_ (William Shakespeare)_

-*-*-

July 30th, 2000

4:16 pm

Peter's Office

Peter ran his hand across his face.He was tired.Way, way, tired.Today had been more then anyone could handle.Sophie had to chase Xan all the way into the woods, and then drag her back, while Peter talked to Kerrie and Nick.Their attitudes toward Xan was 'whatever', which disturbed him.

"She and Shelby are asleep, and Kat said she'd keep an eye on them.Juliette and Daisy are in the lodge with the guys." Sophie said, plopping herself into a chair, "So what are we going to do about this?" She asked.

"I don't know, Soph." Peter sighed, "I don't know.I mean I knew this was going to happen at some point, but this wasn't the way I thought it would happen." He paused, "Did she speak?"

She breathed in, "Yes.She said she hated Nick, wished he were dead, wished Kerrie would, and I quote, 'slither away like the serpent she is', and that she wished you'd have let her die."

He nodded his head, "First thing, before they eat dinner, I want to see the twins at the dock."

"Okay." Sophie sighed this time and walked out the door to go check on Shelby and Xan.

-*-*-

8:50 pm

Xan and Shelby trudged their way to the dinner line.When Xan started to not sleep at night, Shelby stayed up with her and consequently, both were tired.Even after another four hours of sleep, both were exhausted and in dire need of food.Kat had known that much and woke them up for dinner at eight thirty.Both had showered and walked together to the lodge, although Xan had taken her sweet time walking down the stairs, and Kat was a bit worried.Something just wasn't right, but the graduate knew not to press anything right then.Xan was not in a mood to be messed with.

"Xan.Shel." Scott called, as the two looked around for a table.They both noticed that Nick had fit Kerrie in between Daisy and himself, and from the look Daisy was giving them, they decided to find another table.The one in the very corner that was always empty, was the only one left.So they went.However, Sophie walked over just as Xan was about to take a bite of her salad.

"Peter want to talk to you and Nick." She said, and then walked off to tell Nick.

Xan glared at her brother, and followed Sophie to the dock."Why are me here?" She asked after cupping her hands around Sophie's ear.

"Peter wanted to talk to you here.I don't know why." She replied, as Peter walked over.

"Because this was the place that they like to meet up and talk." He said, sitting down on one of the many benches with Nick next to him, Xan, and then Sophie.The twins weren't happy to be sitting next to each other.

"Now I want to know why you two are fighting." Peter said, looking at them.

Xan glared at Nick again, "I hate you.I hate you.I hate you." She said to the seventeen-year old next to her, "You…you…you are an evil bastard, just like dad."

Nick looked in shock at his sister, "What did I do that was so wrong, Xan?What?I did nothing to you!Nothing!I like a girl!Why aren't you happy for me?" He yelled.

Xan jumped up, "Why?!?!You want to know why?!?!Nickolas, didn't you ever watch dad?Didn't you?!?!You saw all the women that passed through our house without Mom noticing!I don't want you to end up like that!I don't!And of all people, Kerrie?" And so there it was.The thing that had made Xan so mad and depressed – she feared that Nick would turn out like Michael.

Nick grabbed his sister's hand, and the look in his eyes turned from a cold as ice glare to compassion, "I will never do that, Xan.Never." He rubbed her fingers with his thumb, and waited for her to understand – as she always had.But this time it didn't happen.

Xan pulled his hand from his grasp and walked away, her head to the ground so no one could see the tears she had in her eyes.As she walked back to the dorm, she could hear Nick's sobs and questions.He didn't get it, and he never would.

-*-*-

July 31st, 2000

5:57 am

Nick had tossed and turned all night, hadn't even gotten five minutes of sleep.He could only lay there and wonder why Xan, who'd forgiven him for things he doubted anyone else would and understood everything, couldn't say she loved him, forgave him, and understood._'What is it, Xannie?What is it that's stopping you from saying that you understand?You have to understand!I can't live if I keep hurting you.I can't.'_ He thought.In his mind, he couldn't hurt his sister anymore.She'd already tried to commit suicide because of him.He wouldn't cause her anymore pain.At breakfast, he would find out once and for all, who Xan saw when she looked at him – Nickolas Francisco or Michael Paris.

-*-*-

7:34 am

The cliffhangers each took their seat at the table, as usual, and the conversations began.The only change was that Xan was the head off the table, and Nick was at the foot.They weren't talking, only signing and Scott was trying not to look.He knew that this had to do with all the things that had happened in the last month, and they had to be resolved.

All of a sudden, Nick jumped up and looked at Xan, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!" He yelled, and the entire room was quiet.Sophie was immediately standing up and started to walk over to the table, but Peter stopped her.Nick would never intentionally hurt his sister, so Peter was sure that this was a ploy to try and understand, or to find something out – something that the twins needed to do.

Xan looked at him, "I do…don't know." She said, upset and unsteady.She stood up, and tried to walk to the door, but Nick grabbed her wrist.

"I was talking to you!" He yelled.

And that was it, Xan looked at him with fear in her eyes.She tried to yank her arm away, but Nick held strong until finally Xan gave away and tried to fight against him.She cried, and Sophie wanted badly to stop this, but knew to wait – Nick was up to something and he would get it done, even if it meant hurting his sister for a little while.

"Let go of me, Daddy!Please let go!" She yelled.

Nick dropped her hand in shock, and Sophie ran over.As she picked up the crying teen and cradled her, Nick knelt down in front of her, "You see Michael when you see me, don't you, Xannie?He hurt you, and you know I promised I never would, but I did.And I'm going to go stop it now." Nick stood up, "I'm never gonna hurt you ever again."

Peter was curious what that had meant, but before he could react, Nick ran out the door and towards the dock.Peter, finally realizing that to stop hurting her meant he would probably try to kill himself, got up with Roger and Jeff following suit, and all ran out the door and down to the dock.

They arrived in time to see Nick jump off the dock and in to the water.Nick had recently learned to swim, and Peter hoped he'd use what he'd learned, but instead, Nick started to sink to the bottom.He didn't try to fight the water, but Peter could tell that Nick was trying to drown.

On instinct, Peter and Roger jumped in after Nick, and dragged him to the surface, but Nick was fighting so hard against them that Roger lost his grip and Nick's head went under again.Roger regained his grip, as Jeff leaned over to hand them a life vest to keep Nick above the water, and the now-unconscious Nick was pulled back towards the edge of the lake.

-*-*-

August 4th, 2000

11:59 am

Peter drove the car slowly back to Horizon.Nick and Xan were in the back seat, sleeping, and Sophie was sitting beside him.

"I called Emily.She said that they plan on keeping them here.The twins have made progress, even with these setbacks." Peter said to Sophie.

Sophie nodded, "I figured.I wonder if the adoption papers went through." She said, as they pulled into the driveway.Kerrie and Shelby were there to meet them.

Xan opened her eyes, and looked around.She stretched and shook Nick until he was awake.He was still weak from his little swim in the lake, but he wanted to come back and he somehow managed to talk Peter into bringing him back earlier then the doctor would've liked.

The two got out of the car and hugged their respective person, although Xan was still less then pleased that Kerrie was there.She still hated her and nothing would change that.Peter could sense that Xan needed to relax, and looked at Sophie, who promptly led Xan and Shelby away to help (or so she called it) with wedding plans, which made them the last to be sucked in to help.

Peter looked at Nick and Kerrie, "There is something we need to discuss." The teens obeyed and followed him to his office.Nick sat down on the couch with Kerrie beside him, while Peter pulled a large document envelope out of his desk drawer.It was stuffed full, and both teens were curious what it was, but as Peter sat down, Kerrie knew.She knew that they were the old letters that she had sent Nick.

"Xan had these in a box in her room.They are address to you." He said to Nick, "However, I read one.The purple one." He said, handing Nick the letter and then looking at Kerrie.She knew which one that was.It was the one that said she wanted to kill him and if she ever saw him again she would play with his mind and destroy his sister – exactly what she had accomplished.

"Damn." She breathed and then looked up at Peter, "So now you know my little secret.Whatcha gonna do to me?Call the cops?" She asked, venom in her voice.

Nick looked at her, as he finished the letter, "You little witch!You didn't even care if you got her or me killed!You just wanted to play around with me!You are such a bitch!" He yelled, not caring if he would get in trouble for cursing.All that mattered was that everything that had happened since Kerrie's arrival had been her doing.Nick looked at Peter, "Either we're leaving or she is." He said.There was no way Nick was going to let his sister be anywhere near this…person.

"I already called her mother, while we were at the hospital." He said, and looked back at Kerrie, "She'll be here in a few hours, so I suggest you go get your things packed."

Kerrie stood up and walked out of the room, pissed as hell.She didn't want to leave, but then again she'd given Peter no choice.

"Thank you." Nick said, "I know that we are the ones who should be going home.I mean with the smokes on the first day, and then Xan and now me.Thank you for not sending us away."

Peter smiled, and hugged Nick.No more words were needed.

-*-*-

4:42 pm

Outside at a table

Kerrie had left an hour before.She had gone a bit unwillingly, but her mother was even more mad then her, so Kerrie had just gotten into the car while her mother tied up loose ends.Brianna had asked to see the twins, whom she had known as toddlers through their mother.She had doubted they'd remember her, aside from when they were eight, and they hadn't but she'd told them everything she knew, and then told then told them she was sorry about Kerrie.Brianna then hugged them, apologized once again, asked if she could write them (they both said yes), and then she was gone.She got in the car and drove away, with Kerrie in the back.

"Xan, wake up." Shelby said, snapping her fingers in front of Xan's face.

Nick looked up, and smiled, knowing what she was thinking.They both laughed and turned back to their homework.

-*-*-

4:42 pm

Peter's office

Peter hung up the phone and looked at Sophie.He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes for a second, before looking back at Soph.The look on his face wasn't one of happiness or sadness, it was more of shock.

"Who was that?" She asked.Something was up – something bad.

"Emily and Bob." He sighed, "The agency won't let them adopt the twins."

-*-*-

To Be Continued…

-*-*-

This is the end of I Hate You, but this story leads into the next, which I'm pretty sure I'm going to call Love the Children.If anyone has a title that might work that I could use – PLEASE TELL ME!!!Anyway, on with my insanity – PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Cassie Jamie

[NoahXfiles@aol.com][1]

[More of my insanity.][2]

   [1]: mailto:NoahXfiles@aol.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Cassie_Jamie/quotes.html



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